I want to be a hero.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be known? Not just by anybody, but by everybody. And not only that, but being noticed for the good things you do, let’s leave aside the bad.

Growing up I always looked to Mother Teresa as my inspiration. This small woman, like myself, was sharing Jesus’ love with the poor and needy on the dying streets of India. I know God calls that worthy so I strived to be like her, or at least what I knew of her, quiet and nice, gentle and loving all the time.

But I am not Mother Teresa or even Angelina Jolie and all her humanitarian work. I am just me. Laura-Beth Rimmer isn’t known, she’s just a small village girl with a big dream.

Often our lives are based around trying to be someone we’re not, because that person looks worthy of us becoming like them. We try to fit into shoes that are the wrong size and shape. If I could have had it my way I would be in India right now, fluent in Hindi, loving on brown babies with a handsome husband by my side. But that’s me. That’s Laura-Beth squeezing herself into her own selfish 10 yr. plan. What about God? What about the One who even stirred my dream?

I am learning that life isn’t about me. Yes, we all are told that, we all know it in our heads but has that really traveled the 18 inch journey? For most of us it hasn’t. We live in a fantasy that being a Jesus lover or a missionary looks a certain way. Where our instagrams are filled with us smiling, holding a child’s hand and they are smiling back at us, or we post videos about this summer’s missions trip with the latest Jesus Culture song in the background. Don’t get me wrong, I am the same way and I love these things. And there is nothing like sitting in the dirt with a child and seeing their eyes light up at the fact that I stopped and played with them. There is nothing like going abroad and experiencing the Father heart of God for the poor, the widows in distress and the prostitutes. But there is something wrong when it becomes about me and making myself known.

You see I’m a part of an organization called Youth With A Mission and the heartbeat of YWAM is, to know God and to make Him known. Not to know Laura-Beth the missionary and make her known.

I want to be a selfless woman, putting up pictures on the web because it constantly glorifies God. I don’t want people to look at my posts and say, “Wow! Look at what SHE is doing!” I want people to see and say, “God is good! God is faithful! God is God!”

So that’s why I’ve flushed my plan of becoming a hero down the toilet. I take each step as a gift from God, it’s a surprise to me from Him as to what we’ll do next together. “It’s just You and me!” I don’t want to live my life wondering if I’m making a difference and whether I’ll be recognized for being brave or bold. I want to live like there’s no one watching but God.

Let’s go forth, not to become heroes, but to show the world that God is the hero. For as Katie Davis says, “I have learned that I will not change the world. Jesus will do that. I can, however, change the world for one person.”